Why are we the best BLT in the world?
We are absolutely, positively, without a doubt the most alive BLT in the world. There are those who believe we are dead, but we are merely hiding in Cuba until the season starts up. Up and coming beer league stars, like Kenstick Lamar, have nothing on us in terms of skill or being alive in general.
Why do we deserve to win the westy?
Honestly, why do you keep asking us if we’re “really” alive? Just look into our words – “Goin’ insane/ Never die/ Live eternal/”. I don’t understand how anything gets lost in translation there. It was all an elaborate hoax so that we could practice in private at our aunt’s house in Cuba. The ice is not great, but the tranquil privacy could make up for even the softest ice. People have tried to replicate us with holograms, but that was nothing like the real thing. When we come back, we’re going to blow everybody’s minds. Our opponents will be so distracted by the thought of us maintaining our facade for 21 years, that they’ll forget how to play hockey. We should go undefeated every season for the rest of eternity, to be honest.